What is the point of asking for help when all it does is making you feel worse?

What is the point of seeking help from someone who shares you blood if all they do is trod on your woes?

Why do they never give encouragement?

Why can't they see that support is all that is needed?

1, 2, 3,.. every single one whipping sarcasm at every tick.

You used to eat sparingly.

You used to neglect your health.

Your sleep have never been peaceful as of late.

You splurge unnecessarily.

You do nothing as you wait for time to pass.

You slowly realise that you are travelling down a lonely path.

You get excited thinking that finally, finally the end is in sight.

What you found at the end..



sends shivers down to your very soul;

stops your beating heart;

turns your blood hot and cold;

It is just the beginning of a horrific ending..

I do not usually indulge in self-pity, but when this rare occasion does come knocking on my door it comes without mercy.

Self-pitying thoughts floating in the space that used to house my brain.

Whatever happened to my life's soundtrack is better than yours?

Changed the layout.

Apparently ver 8.5 graphic was ugly.. they say. I was rather pleased with the photoshop-ing I did on that graphic. Alas the comments left me.. demoralised.

Reformatting my notebook dragged me deeper into the black pit. I was lost in the darkness.

Gathering whatever was left. I resorted to using notepad to generate the codes and an old photoshop-ed image. However.. I did manage to get SpaceCadet a new music player! At present, there are 13 songs in the player.

A big accomplishment. ^-^


















School has started a week ago.. (ㅡ.ㅡ")

It shall burn.

Burn to ashes It shall be.


Watching It catch fire, steadily burning brighter.

Time goes by, the flames gradually growing fainter.


Running out of fuel, the flickering light sizzles out.

Leaving trails of black fumes.


Ashes floating aimlessly.

Till nothing is left.


As if It has never happened.


As should have been from the very beginning.

Report Progress: .. At a standstill

This tense atmosphere. I hate it. I really do.
Whatever happened to the once so very calm environment.
This silent waging war. It is affecting everyone.
This feeling of certain doom.. It refuses to go away.
Why they cannot seem to practice what they preach amuses me to no end.

Why is it not a bed of blooming flowers anymore?
Will we ever see the sun after the rain?


















I doubt so..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 강인시

Is not trying to think anything at the moment..

I guess I am back for the time being.
Long story short, student life is what happened.
Seems like me time is cut to the barest minimum.. like that ever happened.
Ah.. if only I do not have all that. Life would be bliss.
These distractions make me sick. Makes me want to punch the daylights out of it.
Alas, I shall just bury all these six feet under and march onward.



















Out of sight. Out of mind. (ㅡ┏)

I know it..

You know it.

We know it!

They know it!!

School's opened! Its been a week and I am sick of it.

Ah.. the late nights, the early afternoons.
Bloody school is a pain and its been only a week.
Maybe another disappearing act? That is most probable given the situation.
How about a cheerful, a bright outlook towards the coming days, weeks and perhaps months. We shall never know.

The countdown: 6 weeks till term break!(-┏)

This kind of feeling.. How do I explain it.
This thing, an emotion a feeling..
Of protectiveness..
Of hopelessness..

No matter how I try to forestall, to disregard, to refuse
Thursday
Today
It will never be the same again
It will change everything
Everything that are dear to me















Come to think of it, Thursday has always been the one day of the seven days that I like least, fitting how it happens today of all days..

Laughing at the irony of it all. In a good a way of course, square. ^-^
I think you are the one who missed me loads.

I taggged her once and oh!look she bombarded me with 10 tags! haha. It seems I am dearly missed. Amazing!

I have been searching. Every nook and cranny it seems. And sometimes I admit, I might have forgotten to look.

2 maybe 3 years down the road.

There it was. Just there! Beckoning me.. and finally! It is in my hands. But it seems that the fascination it had over me for that long duration had slowly worn off. It wasn't all I thought it would be. I was dissapointed.

Alas the novelty of this past-time of mine has died ㅡㅡㆀ

Too much hate. No, I shoudn't be using hate. It is too harsh of a term, for now let us use.. dislike. There is an over abundance of dislike that it is unhealthy.

Too much anger. It is over-flowing. Words carelessly tossed. Actions without any regard for the other. It hurts. It is unhealthy.

Ulrimately, it boils down to one thing. It is unhealthy. Knowing it is unhealthy and doing nothing to rectify it. It only spells destruction. In big bolded letters for all to see.

Know what

My priotities are in deep shit.

Seriously, I need to get my priorities straight.


Once upon a time..

In the far recesses of a suicidal brain

Priorities begone! It hollered

so Priorities left my life

My priorities really need to return

I've dug my own grave.


Down the road..

In the hole of a despairing heart

Priorities comeback! It cried

but..

Priorities refused to return

I've tumbled albeit unwillingly into my own grave.


Ah.. crap

It is amazing how I screw my life (T.T)

I am angry.

I am pissed.